HEALING HANS
Script by Matthew Craig
mattscrew@hotmail.com

PAGE ONE

Panel One

Black panel, across the top of the page. The caption is rendered in white text, with no border.

1. CAPTION:	I'd always had trouble managing my anger...

Panel Two

Borrowing liberally from Amazing Fantasy #15, we see three young PALS in the foreground, laughing and joking. The PALS are dressed in football strips: one of the boys carries a football. PAL 2 jerks his thumb over his shoulder, pointing to a figure in the background. This is HANS, a scruffy, spotty teenager, who leans against a wall, smoking a roll-up. The shadow he casts on the wall resembles the Zen superhero he is destined to become. For now, however, he wears a constant, angry sneer as he puffs on his fag.

2. PAL 1:	Hey, we need another man for Five-A-Side! Who can we ask?
3. PAL 2:	What about Hans?
4. PAL 3:	Hans! Ha! He's Strathclyde High's only professional boaby!

Panel Three

Hans throws his cigarette down, and looks over at the footballers, hate curling his lips.

5. HANS:	What did you say?

Panel Four

Hans picks a bottle off the wall, as one of the lads holds his hands up to ward him off.

6. PAL 3:	Hans! Haud on, man, he was only havin' a- -

PAGE TWO

Panel One

Hans smashes the bottle into Pal 2's face, cutting it terribly.

1. HANS:	BASSERD!
	2. PAL 2:	GYAHH!
3. SFX:	SKASSH!

Panel Two

The boy goes down as his pals grab Hans, and pull him away.

4. PAL 1:	Get off 'im!
5. PAL3:	Christ! He's aff his heed!
6. HANS:	GHAA!
7. PAL 2:	Jesus, Jesus! Ma face!

Panel Three

Hans' face contorts with rage as he tries to wriggle free.

8. HANS:	Get AFF ME!
9. CAPTION:	...but that was where my troubles really began…

Panel Four

Hans is dragged into a police van, while paramedics attend to the footballer, whose chin is gushing with blood. One of the paramedics watches him being dragged into the van. He looks oddly out of place, with his Cap’n Birdseye beard and advanced years. He might look a bit like Alec Guinness.

10. HANS:		Naaooo! Noo! Ya Bastards!
11. CAPTION:	I made up for being scrawny by being vicious…

Panel Five

External shot: Castletown Young Offenders Institution. A grey spring morning.

12. CAPTION:	...which didn't get me very far...

PAGE THREE

Panel One

Six months later, Hans is bent over a pool table in the recreation room, lining up a shot. He wears a grey sweatshirt and jeans.

	NO COPY

Panel Two

A shadow falls across him.

1. VOICE (off-panel):	Gonnae fuck aff, Handjob?

Panel Three

Hans looks up to see an older boy, LARRY, standing over him. Larry is a couple of years older, and much bigger. Larry cracks his knuckles as his lackeys look on.
 
2. LARRY:	This is my table.

Panel Four

Hans stands up straight, and eyes the bigger lad. His knuckles turn bone-white as he grips the cue tightly with both hands.

	NO COPY

Panel Five

Hans leans the cue over to Larry, who snatches it from him.

3. LARRY:	Good boy. Now fuck aff.

Panel Six

Hans strides out of the room, face curled into a snarl, fists balled tight at his sides. The older boys laugh and make wanker signs behind his head, as he leaves. One of the warders watches all of this. He looks suspiciously like the paramedic from Page Two.

4. LACKEY 1:	Ha ha hah haa!
5. LACKEY 2:	Fuckin' chump.
6. CAPTION:		I learned a lot about myself during my time inside...

PAGE FOUR

Panel One

In the foreground: Hans lies in wait around the outside corner of the building, as Larry walks towards the reader (from in the background). Hans carries a wooden hammer that he managed to pilfer from the workshop.

1. CAPTION:	I learned how far I could be pushed...

Panel Two

Larry gets closer, and Hans tightens his grip on the weapon.

2. CAPTION:	I learned just how far I could go...

Panel Three

As Larry reaches the corner, Hans leaps out in front of him.

3. HANS:	YA BASSTAAAAARRRRRDDD!!
4. CAPTION:	I learned how little my anger meant, in the grand scheme of things...

Panel Four

Larry's pals leap out from behind Hans. One lackey grabs Hans, and the hammer falls from his grasp.

	NO COPY

Panel Five

Larry picks up the hammer, while one of his lackeys (PADDY) spreads Hans' left hand out against the wall.

5. LARRY:	Haud 'im fuckin' still, Paddy!
6. PADDY:	G'wan, big man! Smash his heed in!

Panel Six

Hans looks over to his hand in horror as Larry brings the hammer up like a blacksmith, and - -

7. HANS:	No...please! NO!
8. LARRY:	Shut up, ye fuckin' pussy!

Panel Seven

- - black panel

9. SFX:		SPUTCH!
10. HANS:		YAAAHHH!
11. CAPTION:	...and I learned just how much it could cost me...

PAGE FIVE

Panel One

Some weeks later, Hans is released from the Young Offenders Institution. He walks through the gates, his left arm bandaged, and held tight to his chest by a sling. His coat is draped over his left shoulder.

1. CAPTION:	I tried to learn from my mistakes. I kept my head down, and got out on good behaviour. 

Panel Two

Hans' mother, a dumpy middle-aged woman, rushes up to him, and embraces him tightly.

	NO COPY

Panel Three

Celebrating in the pub, that night, a MAN accidentally spills Hans' drink. Hans' mother looks on in horror. The bearded man is sat at the far end of the bar, nursing a pint.

2. HANS:	GAAH!
3. CAPTION:	Unfortunately, it didn't take long for the old patterns to reassert themselves...

Panel Four

Hans grabs the man, his eyes wild, and - -

4. HANS:	You clumsy fucker!!

Panel Five

- - headbutts him, HARD, breaking the man's nose.

5. SFX:	SKUDtch!
6. MAN:	EIIAAH!

Panel Six

Later that night, Hans is stood outside his mother's house, banging on the front door with his good right hand.

7. HANS:			C'mon, Ma! I didnae mean it! I just lost my rag!
8. VOICE (from inside):	You said you'd changed, son! You said you'd changed!
9. CAPTION:			...and I soon learned something else...

PAGE SIX

Panel One

A few months pass: Hans is sleeping rough in a shop doorway.

1. CAPTION:	...I learned that there's no such thing as "nothing to lose..."

Panel Two

The next day, Hans sits in front of the shop, cross-legged. He has a ratty sign that reads "homeless and hungry." People walk past him, refusing to acknowledge his existence.

2. HANS:	Spare a bit o'change there, doll? Sir? Spare some change?
3. CAPTION:	I begged.

Panel Three

Hans checks the day's takings. A 50p piece, some small change, and a stick of gum.

4. HANS (sotto voce):		No? Bastards.
5. CAPTION:			I borrowed.

Panel Four

Later, that night, Hans follows a well-to-do chap up an alleyway, knife in hand. We don't see the rich man's face, yet.

6. CAPTION:	And one time...

Panel Five

The man stops to tie his shoelace. Hans approaches from behind, and - -

7. HANS:	GIVE US YOUR MONEY, YA BASTARD!
8. CAPTION:	I tried to steal...

Panel Six

Hans is suddenly dazzled by an explosion of light from in front of him.

9. HANS:		GYAAH!
10. CAPTION:	However, it didn't quite go according to plan...

PAGE SEVEN

Panel One

The rich man is replaced by a floating, transcendent figure, all thick beard and wild, wavy hair. He wears saffron robes, like a Buddhist MONK, and floats off the ground, his hands burning with a rich blue flame. Light pours out from within him. Hans cowers in front of the figure, shielding his eyes. His knife lies discarded by his feet.

1. MONK:	Be at peace, my friend.
2. CAPTION:	Not my plan, at any rate..

Panel Two

Hans tries to look up at the figure, still shielding his eyes against the light.

3. HANS:	P-please! Don't hurt me!

Panel Three

The figure smiles benevolently, his aura dimming to a more manageable Ready Brek glow.

4. HANS:	Why would I do that, Hans? I'm here to help you.

Panel Four

The robed man puts his flaming left hand on Hans' forehead, engulfing him in blue fire.

5. HANS:	Aah! No! Don't burn me! I didn't mean it! I - -

PAGE EIGHT

Panel One

Hans stops panicking, and looks down at himself. The flames aren’t burning him.

1. HANS:	Wait...it doesn’t hurt. I feel...good…

Panel Two

The robed man kneels in front of Hans.

2. MONK:	That's the power of the Blue Flame, Hans. I can teach you this skill, but first...

Panel Three

The robed man grabs Hans by the shoulders, and looks deep into his eyes.

3. MONK:	Why are you so angry, Hans?

Panel Four

Hans looks back at him, eyes wide with terror (and brimming with tears).

4. HANS:	I...I dunno. I've always been this way.

Panel Five

Close in on the monk's gimlet stare.

5. MONK:	WHO are you angry at, Hans? Do you even know?

Panel Six

Hans' eyes well up with tears as he begins to crack...

6. HANS:	muh...Me...

Panel Seven

Back to the robed man.

7. MONK:	And why?

Panel Eight

Hans collapses, catching his face in his hands.

8. HANS:	Because I don't know how to switch it off! And I'm afraid of what I might do…oh, God, help mee…

PAGE NINE

Panel One

The robed man leads Hans out of the alley. The Blue Flame has dissipated.

1. MONK:	I've been watching you for some time, Hans. Your anger drew me like a moth to a flame...or maybe the other way around.

Panel Two

Pan down to floor level. We see that the man is floating a few inches off the ground.

2. MONK:	I can teach you to control your anger. I can teach you how to let life's troubles flow off your back like water.

Panel Three

The robed figure holds his hand out in front of Hans, and ignites the Blue Flame. The flame is reflected in their eyes as the light dances off their faces.

3. MONK:	I can teach you the secret of the Blue Flame, which can heal wounds of flesh and spirit alike.

Panel Four

The two men start off down the road (and into the page).

4. MONK:	I can teach you all this and more.
5. HANS:	What's the catch?

Panel Five

Further down the road (and into the page). The robed man puts his arm around Hans.

6. MONK:	The catch?
7. HANS:	Yeah.
8. MONK:	There's only one catch, my friend. If I teach you this knowledge...
9. HANS:	Yeah?

Panel Six

Further down the road. Almost out of sight.

10. MONK:		...you have to have a shower.
11. HANS:		...oh.
12. CAPTION:	My training began the very next day.
PAGE TEN

Panels One - Four

These panels should be open, without borders, allowing the pictures to flow into each other, creating the illusion of the slow passage of time.

Panel One

Deep in Campsie Glen, Hans collects water from a stream. He wears jogging pants and a sweatshirt. His head is shaved.

1. CAPTION:	My new master showed me ways to strengthen my body, and shore up my soul.

Panel Two

Hans, practising kung fu in silhouette against the setting Sun, his master by his side.

2. CAPTION:	He taught me how to deal with violence, without resorting to it myself.

Panel Three

Hans, meditating. His mohawk is beginning to grow in.

3. CAPTION:	He taught me how to control my anger. To face it, unafraid, and leave it powerless.

Panel Four

The Blue Flame bursts from his hands. Hans is clearly delighted - as is his master, despite his restraint.

4. CAPTION:	And finally, he taught me the secrets of the Blue Flame – a pure, burning love for all humanity that comes from within.

Panel Five

Returning to a regular panel style: Hans is presented with his own set of saffron robes. His mohawk and scraggly beard have fully grown in.

5. MONK:	And now, at last, you are ready to go back out into the world, my friend...

PAGE ELEVEN

Splash page: Healing Hans, completely trained and fully-dressed, floats out into the world, serenity in his heart, and mischief on his lips.

1. CAPTION:	“...take what you have learned, and make it a safer place.”
2. CAPTION:	And so I did. I travel the world now, helping people to face up to their fears, their pain or their anguish, whether it’s in a bar fight or an international incident.
3. CAPTION:	That old man saved me from myself. And I have made it my life’s work to earn that salvation.
4. CAPTION:	I'm here to help. I'm your new best friend. I'm the world's first Zen superhero, and I'm very pleased to meet you. My name is...

TITLE:	Healing Hans
Written by Matthew Craig
Art by Rob Croonenborghs
Healing Hans Created by Matthew Craig.

END

Script, characters and situations © M.P.Craig 2004